Tatostrophe

Republicans are killing the stimulus

That’s ok- I have always yearned to

Live in a Recreational Vehicle

My husband’s feet smell like

A bag of stale, expired corn chips.

Through suffering, I achieve salvation

Geraldo Rivera is getting old

I tried to flip the channel but

I've lost the damned remote!

Should there be laws restraining the behavior of people who eat boiled okra?

You know, I saw this question on a YaHoO! page -- and I spent the rest of the day wondering about the answer.

 I mean --  boiled okra is patently disgusting. As such, you well know the answer is a resounding YES... 

...but to voice this affirmation aloud would be to revoke your visiting privileges to most of the South, for starters. And if you affirm this idea in a figurative sense -- you have to examine the examples of boiled okra that we have been fed over the last little while. Here are three servings which spring to mind:

TRUE BIPARTISANSHIP IN CONGRESS - This is clearly, boiled okra. It ain't gonna happen no time soon.

MASSES OF AMERICANS DRIVING HYBRID CARS -  Have you priced the hybrid cars that are currently available? what part of massive-job-layoffs-means-noone can afford-cars-of-any-kind can the servers of this particular boiled okra not understand?

REALITY TV IS A RECENT PHENOMENON - This is a serving of boiled okra, too. Quite to the contrary, people have been humiliating themselves in front of voyeuristic camera crews for many, many years -- as attested to by the endless archives of amateur porn (or porno, depending on your age) tapes languishing between free Internet sites and your neighbor's garage.

Here is the food-based analysis; as I saw it on YaHoO!:

Boiled okra is an offense against the laws of God. It doesn't even look like it came from this planet. People who eat boiled okra are choosing to engage in behaviors that all decent-minded people find disgusting, and I think there should be laws to stop that. Remember, somewhere the Bible says something like "thou shalt not suffer a boiled okra eater to live."

Some boiled okra eaters claim that they were born that way, but this is obviously nonsense. How many day-old infants do you know who eat boiled okra? None, that's how many! Obviously, they choose this behavior late in life.

How do they choose it? I think they're taught by closeted boiled okra eaters in school. There should be laws preventing boiled okra eaters from teaching. I sure don't want my kids being taught by someone trying to recruit them into the boiled okra eating lifestyle.

I guess we can allow them to serve in the military. They'd probably hold up well under torture. After all, what can the enemy do to them worse than they do to themselves? But I don't think people want to serve next to boiled okra eaters if they can help it. Have you ever smelled the breath of someone who's eaten boiled okra? If there's a boiled okra eater in the military, he or she should be prevented from talking about his or her "practices", and kicked out if they do so anyway. Don't ask, don't smell!

We should definitely not allow them to get married. I mean, what if they breed, and teach their kids to eat boiled okra? That's disgusting!

So, I'm starting a campaign for stricter laws against the eating of boiled okra. We'll call it "Proposition Ate". Who's with me on this? Together, we can take back our community.

OK -- so this one is fairly short.

I'd been hopping about the Internet, leaving vacuous commentary on rendom newsblogs, when I saw something about the USBM scene. Since I wasn't born all-knowledgeable, I began my investigation. Apparently, USBM refers to United States Black Metal. This, I gather, is a darker version of Heavy Metal music.

I'm  so not getting the darkness of it, though. I heard some track from a few bands on download.com, and all I heard was the sounds of aggravated marching bands. The underlying melodies were brisk and jumpy... and the axes all did the same, 'angry' rifts as every other metal band.

Maybe the blackness of this metal music is in the words -- of which I have yet to hear; and so I cannot judge.

I think the artwork on the album covers of some of these bands is splendid! Not dark, at all.

I think that kids don't realize the actual quietness of fear ; and they consistently, over generations, associate it with loudness and obviousness.. True fear and darkness is  brooding and silent; all-absorbing and unrelenting.

This idea led me to Dick Cheney. Worse than any USBM tune, this one man has managed to help our US Constitution show its first real signs of death and decay. He has politicized the Justice Department; spit in the face of our espionage workers; treated the will of the American People like -- the fuck if he should care -- the buckshot he illegally shoots in people's faces. (Did he ever pay a fine for not having a permit?)

The REAL USBM then, is the metal lodged in the heart of the next dead, American soldier who gets shipped home from Iraq; thanks to Dick.  If I knew how to cut an axe, I would be making some kick-ass albums about that .